Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church

Proverbs 29:25, Matthew 21: 23-27

“Who gave you this authority?” Matthew 21:23

Have you heard about the frog who was a natural leader in the farmer’s pond? Whenever the frog spoke the rest of the pond animals listened—particularly the ducks. Now this frog was quite aware what an amazing leader he was. He telling others what to do. He spoke and they obeyed. One day he decided that their little pond was too small, so he commanded the ducks to go look for a larger pond. A few days later, the ducks returned with the news of a wonderful large pond. When the frog heard where the new larger pond was, he knew it was too far away for him to hop on his own. So he again used his leadership skills to get what he wanted from the ducks.

The frog recruited two of the ducks to help him move to the new pond. He explained that he would bite down on the middle of a stick while they each took an end of the stick into their beaks. The ducks agreed and took off with the frog suspended between them. As they passed over a farmer, he looked up and said, “Now there’s something I’ve never seen before. Look at that frog suspended between those two ducks. I wonder who came up with that idea?” The frog, excited to brag about his leadership said, “I diiiiiii….d”

This is the second week in our spring series of messages from the book Lead Like Jesus. Last week we reminded ourselves that everybody is a leader since we all influence others in one way or another. Some of us are leaders in our roles as parents, grandparents, and siblings in families. Others of us are leaders in our community. Many of us do not realize how much we are influencing others. While a few of us have important sounding titles that declare publicly that we are leaders, all of us are influencing others. The question is not whether we are leaders who influence others but how well we are doing at influencing others for good.

When we set up Jesus as our model for influence, we must first begin with the admission that Jesus’ way of life is different from our natural tendencies. Jesus lived his life in humility. We struggle with ego-issues. He knew his purpose. We too often find our purpose by seeking other’s approval. Jesus exuded a unique combination of humility and confidence. We struggle with self-doubt and arrogance. Here is the truth: if we will seriously examine our inner motivations, we are generally closer to the religious hypocrites of those days than we are to Jesus.

Jesus challenged the leaders of his day to examine their ego-issues. How much of his challenge applies to us as well?

Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while he was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him. "By what authority are you doing these things?" they asked. "And who gave you this authority?" Jesus replied, "I will also ask you one question. If you answer me, I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John's baptism—where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or from men?" They discussed it among themselves and said, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will ask, 'Then why didn't you believe him?' But if we say, 'From men'—we are afraid of the people, for they all hold that John was a prophet." So they answered Jesus, "We don't know." Then he said, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.

Matthew 21:23-27

To be honest, I liked chapter one of Lead Like Jesus better than chapter two. Chapter one held up Jesus as our model for influence. I always celebrate when Jesus is held up as an example. Then, just about the time I was nodding my head in agreement, I turned the page and found that the authors had started meddling. Chapter two identifies our ego-issues as one of the main reasons we fail to influence others the way Jesus influenced others.

The authors define Ego as Edging God Out. Instead of humbly serving and influencing, we can tend to let our egos get the best of us. Whenever our egos guide our actions, we get ourselves into trouble. Even when we start something with pure motives, ego can slip in and cause trouble. Ouch!

I’m thinking about a quick shopping spree my wife asked me to take with her some months ago. In order to get to the store where she wanted some supplies we had to drive right past the property where our church had planned to build a family center for the community. As we approached the property I felt my insides churning. Kate was shocked as I started spewing foul language like I have not used in more than 30 years. I spewed out my frustrations at a city that had rejected our plans. “Twenty years from now when they have problems with gang violence in their schools and their city leaders ask where they went wrong, we’ll say, “You had your chance to prevent all this, but you sent us away!” Then I spewed more curse words and venomous language throughout the car. For a while Kate put up with it and then finally announced, “Enough! Get over it!”

As I fought down my own anger I reflected on what that outburst symbolized. I had to confess to the Lord that somewhere in the process of our planning that campus I had let my ego get the better of me. How could this have happened? I went back in my mind to myself as a young pastor nearly thirty years ago who begged the Lord not to ever put me in a position where I would have to do any fund raising for construction. Then over the last twenty years I had been forced to go through four major fund raising campaigns in order to build larger buildings to accommodate our church growth.

I recalled how I spent more than a year wrestling against God before we went forward with our last capital campaign. I begged the Lord that I not be the pastor to do the next fund raising campaign for our church to build an entire second campus. I truly believed this second campus would make a difference forty years from now, but I kept asking why did I have to be the one to carry this vision. Why couldn’t someone else do it? The Lord wouldn’t let me off the hook. Once I told the Lord I would do whatever he wanted, I had to convince myself it was worth it. Somewhere in the process I went from being a reluctant visionary to owning the vision. My conviction that this was worth it finally took hold. The problem is that it not only took hold in my heart. It also took hold in my ego. “Okay God. I get it. Now you can step aside and watch what our congregation is going to do for you.” Edging God out.

Let’s be clear. Most of us don’t do this consciously. It happens slowly, subtly. My story is not unique. It is the story of each of us and all of us at various points in our lives. We take good ideas, even God’s vision, and then we slowly edge God out and try to make good things happen motivated by our own ego strength.

Wait. If God starts it, doesn’t that mean we are supposed to do it after that? Nope. This is one of the common mistakes we make. If the original idea came from God aren’t we doing God’s will by making it happen? What about, “God helps those who help themselves”? Not in the Bible. God gives the vision, plants an idea. Yet we still have to wait for the Lord’s timing and the Lord’s way to make it happen. In my years of leadership I’ve discovered this is often the hardest part of seeking to lead like Jesus. Having the vision and yet keeping our egos out of the way is a constant battle. Often we lose the battle and edge God out.

How do we recognize when ego is taking over? The book suggests that ego manifests itself in two common ways—pride and fear. Our pride protects our fragile egos with an overly inflated view of ourselves. “Watch what I can do.” Our fear is usually rooted in deep insecurities going all the way back to childhood. “I’ll never be able to do that.” Pride and fear subvert our influence.

If we are willing to get really honest with ourselves, we see that our ego-based influence is as flimsy at that of the chief priests and elders who challenged Jesus. “Who gave you the authority to teach these things?” They felt threatened by Jesus so they attacked his ideas. Look how Jesus responded. “Okay, you answer my question first. What do you think about John’s baptism? Was he baptizing people in his own authority or God’s authority?” Here is where their ego-driven leadership showed its true colors. The elders and chief priests were so worried about what others would think of them that they refused to answer.

Can’t we relate to those religious leaders in Jesus’ day? Haven’t most of us at some point gotten defensive or fearful when someone disagreed with us? Here is the sad thing. When we let our egos drive our reactions, we not only damage the good activity we are doing, but we often hurt others around us.

Truth be told, Kate wasn’t that surprised by how hard it hit me when we learned that the city would not approve our second campus plans. As the next few months played out, she admitted that she had been worried for a couple years over my growing defensiveness surrounding that entire project. Whenever she would express any doubt about it, I became extremely defensive.

Kate: “I was thinking about the second campus, has anybody considered….?”

Me: “I don’t need your criticism, I need your support! This is the most important project I’ve ever done. Other pastors are amazed that our congregation is building an entire campus to bless our community.”

Kate: “I was just thinking…”

Me: “If we don’t build this campus to help answer the emerging problems in our society then how can we call ourselves followers of Jesus at all? Jesus expected his church to change the world!”

End of conversation. After a few of these defensive conversations, Kate and I stopped talking about it. The topic was off limits. She watched me come home from church meetings frustrated and defensive feeling like others weren’t supporting the vision God had given. While each church fund raising and construction project over the years have taken heavy tolls on our marriage, this one had escalated to a different level. Here is the truth: I still absolutely believe God gave the vision. But instead of letting it rest in my heart and trusting the Lord for each step along the way, I wanted to seize ownership of the project. Edging God out.

A couple weeks ago our church leaders took the very first baby steps toward finding a new vision for how our church can bless the community and bring people into a loving encounter with Jesus. Pastor Neal and I invited a group of local missionaries to come to a one day retreat. When some staff and elders asked if they could sit in, I set one ground rule for our meeting. No pastors, staff, or elders could speak. Our only role was to listen.

I’ve got to be honest, while there were moments when the missionaries were complimentary to our church, there were several times when they shared some pretty tough things. The missionaries were nearly unanimous in their view that it would be a major mistake for us to buy or build a facility for outreach. They sensed that the moment we own it, we will try to control it. It was not easy to sit and simply listen. A few times I felt my ego rising again to defend our church. But the discipline of staying quiet and listening was vital to letting this be God’s move not ours.

The chapter suggests we work toward a new definition of WEGO: Exalting God Only. I like that. Not easy but worth working toward. And here is an easy test to help determine whether we are Edging God Out or seeking to Exalt God Only in our realms of influence. Can we sit quietly and take criticism, or do we feel a need to defend ourselves?