Created For Community
- Dr. Bruce Humphrey
- Jan 10, 2010
- Series: Genesis: The Story Begins
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Last weekend we started this winter series of messages on the foundational Hebrew accounts in the first book of the Bible. We celebrated that God spoke and arranged the molecules of creation into an orderly system. In chapter one; we read the refrain, “It was good… It was good… It was very good.”
Then we turn the page of our Bible and read for the first time that saw something on planet earth that was NOT good. God looked at Adam in the Garden of Eden and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” What is wrong with being alone?
A minister decided not to preach one Sunday morning. He felt like enjoying the nice weather, so he called an associate at the last minute and pretended to be sick. Knowing the associate would cover for him, the preacher headed to the golf course.
St. Peter was watching and pointed out what was happening to God. The Lord assured St. Peter that the minister would pay for it. Together St. Peter and the Lord watched as the minister stroked his very first shot as a perfect hole-in-one. St. Peter turned to the Lord and asked, “Wait a minute. I thought you said he would pay for it. How is this punishment?” The Lord answered, “Who can he tell?”
The best things in life must be shared. Half of the joy of an experience is retelling it as a story, sharing it with our friends.
This is true for our faith as well. Christianity is a community faith. We gather and worship together because the best things in life must be shared. The sacraments of baptism and communion are shared in the context of community. We do not practice private sacraments because we do not believe they are magical or mystical by themselves. They stir our faith as we experience them together in community.
The early church almost forgot that Christianity is a community-based religion. There was a time during the fourth and fifth centuries when many Christians associated true spirituality with privatized, individualistic faith. For a short while in our Christian history there was great admiration for the “pillar saints.” Have you heard of the pillar saints?
The pillar saints were monks who sought to be holy by rejecting entirely any association with the world. They went to the extreme of climbing up on pillars and attempting to live their lives separated from any contact with others. They tried to exemplify pure prayer. Admirers of these saints sent up food in baskets and disposed of the waste. The most famous pillar saint was a man named Simeon Stylites. At the age of twenty, Simeon gave up all worldliness and moved into a desert cave. When crowds began to visit him, he moved to the top of a pillar he had built. He remained perched on his pillar for thirty-six years until he died in 459.
God said about Adam in the Garden of Eden, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Jesus said, “Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” I like the paraphrase I once heard of this comment by Jesus. “If two of you can agree on something, I’ll show up just to see if it’s real!” In other words, the scriptures are consistent from beginning to end; God created us to share in community.
This is not to say that community is easy. In some ways it would be easier to live on top of a pillar than in the church. Living in genuine community is hard work. I find the writings of Scott Peck insightful at this point. His classic piece of writing on community is a book titled The Different Drum. According to Dr. Peck communities go through similar stages. He identifies four clear stages of community. I want to combine Peck’s two middle stages in order to reflect on the three key stages of community.
Dr. Scott Peck calls the first stage of community “pseudo-community.” This is the romantic first blush of love and joy. Everything feels happy. We are discovering things in common. “You think that! So do I!” We discover that our views are similar. We feel affirmed and enjoy this first stage in a young community. Jesus refers to this stage when he says that loving people who are like us is something anybody can do. Even tax collectors and gentiles love people that are like themselves (Matthew 5:46-47).
We see this first stage in all kinds of groups. We see it in dating relationships. We see it when someone first joins an organization. We see it in the first months of a new job. This is often referred to as the honeymoon stage.
The early church experienced this first stage of community. Acts 2 tells about people enjoying the fellowship so much that they sold their possessions and gave the proceeds to the church leaders. The church members were eating in each other’s homes, sharing everything they had. Heaven on earth. Everyone happy. And it lasted for a few months.
This happy time is not yet genuine community. Love hasn’t yet been tested. Without disagreements we are not sure how committed we are. Until someone dares to disagree, there is no testing of the ability to resolve conflicts. It appears happy for a time, but it is not real love. We could call it infatuation. Some refer to it as puppy love.
If it is not real love, then what is the point? Why not simply skip this stage? Wait! This stage creates the happy memories and building of trust that will be needed to get through conflicts that will inevitably occur. The memories of the honeymoon will take us through the next stage of community. It is worthwhile to enjoy this stage and not push for it to end too soon. Remember puppy love is real to the puppy.
In its own time, we will naturally move from the romantic, honeymoon stage of community to the next stage. This is the stage where conflict emerges. Scott Peck refers to “chaos” and “emptiness” at this stage of community. This is when we get honest in our disagreements. The honeymoon is over!
What happens is that people admit that they are not in total agreement with everything that is happening in the relationship. This is the time when we realize that our expectations may not be entirely met. We get hurt by the differences we discover in this stage of community. This stage involves tears and pain, anger and even sorrow.
John Wesley was a missionary to an Indian tribe in Georgia in the 1700’s. In his journals we can watch his clear movement from stage one to stage two in his relationships with the Indian community. His early entries remark on how kind and loving the Indian people were. They seemed so open to his message. A few months later, however, the tone of his journal entries had changed dramatically. One entry describes the Indians this way. “They are gluttons, thieves, dissemblers, liars, murderers of father, murderers of mothers, murderers of their own children….” Reverend Wesley was clearly at the second stage of community!
The early church experienced this in Acts 5. After sharing all their possessions and finances, they discovered that not everybody was trustworthy. A couple named Annanias and Saphira pretended to sell their possessions and give their entire savings to the church. They got plenty of attention for their announced gift. Just one problem. They secretly kept a portion to themselves. When Peter questioned them as to whether they had truly fulfilled their commitment, they lied. He was saddened that they would not only lie to the church, but also to God. It is not all happy in the church.
We might wonder whether it were possible to skip this stage. Can’t we avoid the pain? Nope. This stage must be experienced before genuine community can emerge. Real love only grows out of the wounds and pain of the second stage of community.
It is not until the third stage that we enter true community. This is when real love happens. We thought we were in love during the first stage, but we did not really know each other yet. During the second stage the emotions were too tender to feel like love. However, in the third stage we realize that we are genuinely committed to each other. This is when we do the dance of genuine community. This stage has the potential to bring honesty, healing, and forgiveness. True community happens when we learn to truly love the people who are significantly different from us.
I am reading an interesting sociology book titled Traffic. The subtitle is “Why we drive the way we do (and what it says about us).” The author describes how much we disagree over rules of the road when it comes to traffic merging in a construction zone. I laughed as he described the “early mergers” who believe they are politely and considerately following the rules by merging early into the lane that goes through the construction zone. “Late mergers” are the people who wait until they have to merge at the last minute. They maximize the road’s capacity by keeping two lanes moving as long as possible before merging.
Okay, quick survey: How many here are early mergers? How many are late mergers? The author describes his blog conversation with lots of drivers over their views of early and late merging. He was stunned to realize that most people treated it as an unresolved moral issue in our society. People who hold one view think they are absolutely right and the other mergers are wrong. For the person who merges early, they assume the other driver is being insensitive, selfish, and nearly evil by refusing to follow the obvious rules of propriety. For those who merge late, they assume the other drivers are being naïve and clogging the system unnecessarily. Why can’t they keep the traffic moving efficiently and simply zipper into the one lane at the final point of merge instead of backing up one lane needlessly for a half mile?
He describes the moment he converted (he calls himself a born again late merger) from early merging to late merging. As he merged at the last minute, his wife covered her face. She was embarrassed that he had turned into one of those drivers she despised.
As I was reading that part of the book I recalled at time a few years ago when Kate and I were riding in the back seat with some good friends. As we were leaving the event, the driver weaved from the slow lane into a lane that was moving faster. Then he forced his way back into the turn lane by cutting off another driver. Kate and I made eye contact as she said to our good friend, “You are one of those drivers that I don’t want to let in.” The driver laughed.
We are at stage three of community with these friends. There are other friends where we would not feel safe to express our disagreement. Kate could honestly express her disagreement and have the confidence to know that we will remain as friends. That relationship has been forged through good times and bad so that we know we can be honest with each other.
The Bible says we are created for community. It is not good for a person to be alone. Jesus talked about the power of unity “wherever two or three are gathered….”
Let me ask a question: Are you at this level of community?
