Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church

2 Cro. 12:7-10, Exodus 4:10-17

Years ago Kirk Selden met then actor, now Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. As weight lifters he and Schwarzenegger have both competed in world class competitions. However, it is likely that if you or I met Kirk we might not immediately notice his similarity to Governor Schwarzenegger. You see Kirk Selden has a genetic disorder commonly known as Down's syndrome. Thus, Selden's weight lifting medals were attained at the Special Olympics world competition about ten years ago.

I came across an interview with Kirk Selden shortly after he had won his weight-lifting medals. When asked about his limitations, Kirk explained that the most difficult aspect of his life was his difficulty in speaking. He explained that he had difficulty exhaling in coordination with vocalizing sounds. Thus, he speaks quite slowly. At a later point in the interview Dr. Nuland asked for Kirk's reflections regarding Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kirk's response was classic, "Arnold likes to talk."

Moses was more like Selden Kirk than Governor Schwarzenegger. He felt unable to lead his people since he couldn't talk very well. Moses explained that he couldn't possibly be called to lead since he was "slow of speech and slow of tongue." God's response to Moses may be one of the most intriguing and difficult passages in the Bible. God took credit for causing genetic disabilities such as deafness, blindness, and muteness. What do we do with this idea that God intentionally gives us limitations?

But Moses said to the Lord, 'O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.' Then the Lord said to him, 'Who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to speak.' But he said, 'O my Lord, please send someone else.' Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and he said, 'What of your brother Aaron the Levite? I know that he can speak fluently; even now he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you his heart will be glad. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth; and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and will teach you what you shall do. He indeed shall speak for you to the people; he shall serve as a mouth for you, and you shall serve as God for him. Take in your hand this staff, with which you shall perform the signs.'

Exodus 4:10-17

The husband worried that his wife was losing her hearing. He snuck up behind her while she was knitting in front of the television. Standing out of her line of sight, he whispered, "Can you hear me?" No response. He decided to repeat the question just a little louder than a whisper. "Can you hear me?" Still no response. The third time he spoke at regular volume. "Can you hear me?" He waited for her reply, but she remained facing forward and kept knitting as she watched the television. He repeated his question loudly and slowly, "Can you hear me?" She turned to him and said, "For the fourth time, 'Yes!'"

When it comes to limitations, many of us find it easier to point out others' limits than to recognize our own. Jesus talked about our removing the log out of our own eye before we worry about the speck in our neighbor's eye. I like the interpretation that suggests our own log and our neighbor's speck turn out to be the very same thing. Take a tiny splinter and move it closer and closer to our own eye and we have something large enough to block a portion of our vision. The speck in someone else's eye is a log in our own eye.

Moses thought his speech problems were worse than whatever limits others had. Surely someone else would make a better leader? God reminded Moses that everybody has limits. Unfortunately, we live in a society that seems to imply we ought to have no limitations. We are told that we can do anything we want to if we just try hard enough. This is simply not true. The Christian approach to positive self-esteem involves accepting our limits while not giving them more weight than they deserve.

Neal and I met at a college campus ministry. We not only became friends but even shared a room for one summer during college. Since then we have both completed seminary and gone into ministry. I became a preacher while Neal became a pastoral counselor. We each experienced God's guidance not only by playing to our strengths but also by accepting our limitations.

That summer with Neal was not easy. Now let me say that I am not a neat freak. My side of the bed at home is as messy a place as you'll see. (You can ask Kathy.) I have piles of books and magazines, notebooks with scribbled devotional thoughts and hastily jotted sermon ideas. If you ever loaned me a book and I forgot to get it back to you, it is probably calling for you to remind me to rescue it from my messy pile of reading material. A friend visiting our home once referred to it as my "nest."

But my book nest was nothing compared to Neal's! He left clothing on the floor for not just days but sometimes two or three weeks! He never made his bed. Crumbs and leftovers of his snacks were strewn around the room. I put up with it for the first month and then we had it out! Neal was amazed that I expected him to clean up after himself. Later, at the end of the summer when his family came to visit I learned that Neal's mom had always taken complete care of those things. He had never made his own bed until he roomed with me. He had never washed his own clothes. He had never cleaned his own plate after a meal. By the middle of the summer we were on a regular schedule of sharing chores, cleaning up, and getting along great.

Neal later told me that he appreciated how I saw his limitations differently from the way others around him had seen him. You see Neal has cerebral palsy. Neal's slowness in speech and movement gave him some amazing insights. He was a much better listener than I was. His slurred speech and slower pace actually helped me and others slow down to hear God's wisdom in fresh ways. So, aligning himself to work within his God-given limits, Neal went to seminary and became a pastoral counselor.

Have we learned to accept our limitations as one of the ways that God guides us? The Apostle Paul records that he pleaded several times for God to take away his "thorn in the flesh." Nobody knows for sure what Paul's thorn was. Some have suggested it was an eyesight problem. We know that Paul generally dictated his letters. One letter, however, concluded with Paul actually taking the pen and writing in his own hand. "See what large letters I make when I am writing in my own hand" (Galatians 6:11). Was he extremely near-sighted‹legally blind?

Others have suggested that the "thorn in the flesh" was a relational problem that he couldn't get resolved. Was it a marital problem? He mentions in one place that he was a rabbi. We know that rabbis were married yet he never mentions his wife. He later mentions being single so he could remain focused on his ministry. Was he divorced or widowed? Was his thorn a tendency toward loneliness even depression?

He implied in his letter to the followers of Jesus in Rome that he struggled with what we today would probably call an addiction problem. He wanted to stop doing something, but couldn't seem to stop. "I do not do the thing I want, but I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15). Was his addiction so socially unacceptable that he worried what would happen if it were ever found out? He wanted to stop. He pleaded with God to take it away. Do you have a "thorn in the flesh"?

God's answer to Paul was the same as what God told Moses. "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Have we discovered with Paul and Moses that identifying our weaknesses and living within our limits is actually a step toward positive self-esteem?

William James, the father of modern psychology, defined self- esteem as the ratio of our accomplishments compared to our expectations. The numerator of the fraction is a record of our successes. The denominator is the number of things we are trying to do well. One way to improve the ratio is lower the unrealistic expectations we have toward ourselves. If we accept our limits and stop trying so hard to be something we were not created to be, maybe we can focus more on those areas where we are competent. There are some limitations we'll never be able to change. God meant for us to have them. Maybe we can't get rid of the thorn in the flesh, but we can change our attitude toward it. Maybe we could even discern how the Lord could redeem our limitations and weaknesses for his glory.

My dad lost most of his hearing in a gun accident when I was a boy. During most of my growing up he refused to admit that the problem was his hearing. He insisted that I was not speaking correctly. "Enunciate! Speak your consonants more clearly. I can't understand you when you mumble."

Dad covered his limited hearing by developing skills in lip reading. He also mentally filled in the blanks on things he hadn't quite caught. It was common for our family to get into disputes over something he thought he'd heard that none of us had said. For more than forty years Dad insisted it wasn't his hearing, but our failure to speak loudly, slowly, and with proper pronunciation. My mom masterfully covered for Dad's hearing problems, making sure to repeat what he needed to know.

When my mom was hospitalized with a stroke, I rushed to Tucson to be there. I recall walking into the hospital room as my mother's phone was ringing. My mom's stroke had affected her ability to speak. Her traumatized brain was scrambling some of her words. She was often close but not quite right. Thus, as I arrived at her hospital room I stood at the door watching my mom shout to my dad, "It's singing!" Dad, unable to hear the phone ringing, was looking at her with confusion asking, "Who is singing?" She repeated herself louder and more slowly, "It's singing!" As dad responded again, "I don't hear anyone singing," I started laughing. "What a pair to draw to," I commented as I went to answer the phone.

A few months later, when Mom died, my dad finally came to terms with his hearing disability. A couple of years into his life as a widower I called and got his answering machine, "This is Burt Humphrey. Please leave a message for me and I'll get back to you. Remember I am hard of hearing so you need to speak slowly and clearly for me to get the message."

It took years and my mom's death before my dad could accept his hearing limitation. Yet God has redeemed my dad's hearing difficulties into a blessing in my life. Have you ever wondered where I learned to carefully pronounce my syllables and enunciate my consonants more clearly than is typical for a boy who grew up in the west? I've had many people over the years inquire about my unusual accent. I've had a number of people assume I grew up somewhere in Britain. My dad and I celebrate together that his insistence on correct and careful pronunciation has paid huge dividends in my preaching career.

How is the Lord redeeming your limitations into blessings?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

What would you identify as your two greatest strengths and your two most significant limitations?

"The Christian approach to positive self-esteem involves accepting our limits while not giving them more weight than they deserve." How would you apply that to your situation?

As you look at your life, have you seen where God has used your limitations as a way to guide you?

What does God mean when God says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness?" (2 Cor. 12:9)